Belief, Unbelief, and the Problem with Capital T Truths

I’m Mormon. My parents aren’t. My family didn’t raise my wrong. I wouldn’t change my childhood. I believe the gospel is true, but I don’t believe my parents are wrong for not being members. I also don't believe what they believe is incorrect. So yeah, I suppose I occupy a paradoxical space of belief. My testimony is deeply rooted in loving Heavenly Parents. I know that God loves us. God loves me, God loves you, God loves all members of the Church, God loves all non-members. God loves those don't believe, God loves those that hate him. I also have a really hard time having an "I know" testimony, when I know billions of people in the world have “I know” testimonies of beliefs that are completely different than my own. Whatever your religious beliefs are, whatever you know and whatever you don't... there are other people out there who feel as strongly, but hold different actual beliefs. Are you with me? I believed there wasn't a God when I was 12. Now I believe there is. I believe the latter far more strongly than I ever believed the former, so I've decided that is the superior truth. But there are countless other people who have had opposite experiences. Who am I to invalidate those feelings? My (new) faith tradition says the best way to come to those determinations is through careful and thoughtful prayer and study. But what happens when the answers to my prayers are different than the answers to someone else's? We're told the Prophets and Apostles give us guiding truths and principles, but what happens when I pray for the confirmation of truth to their messages and it doesn't come? This is a big "what if" that hasn't personally happened to me, but I know people to whom it has and I don't have the ground on which to invalidate the experiences of others. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to have faith, yet it can solve a lot of problems. The Mormon phrase "families can be together forever" is comforting and one of my favorite principles, but there are conditionals to that statement. Your family has to be sealed together for that to happen and for sealings to happen, an acceptance of Christ and Heavenly Parents has to happen. (For the record, any of this can happen in this life or the next). Because my family doesn't belong to the Church, I often worry that such a statement will never apply to us. But, I've been told by many that it will work out in the end, and I've actually CHOSEN to believe that for a couple reasons: 1. I want to believe it. 2. Choosing to believe my family won’t be together doesn't help me in any way and would only cause me pain now. 3. I won't know the REAL CAPITAL T “Truth” until I'm in heaven so why wouldn't I choose a more comforting truth if it doesn't hurt anyone else and helps me? I recognize that's a simplification, but it's one that I think is important. Believing my parents will be in heaven with me is an essential belief for me. I personally cannot imagine "heaven" without them. To be fair, I also can't imagine a lot of other realities that other people live everyday. Yet, the difference is, "choosing" belief impacts my day-to-day actions and behaviors. Choosing to believe my parents and sister will be with me in heaven isn’t a given, but it makes me happier which in turn makes me a better, kinder person. Likewise, my “choice” to be Mormon has made me a better person. Yet, that may not be a reality for everyone. I believe and hope the Church true and I believe it will and can work out for everyone in the end, but for some people right now, it might not help them become their best selves at this stage in life. I really don't mean that in a condescending way, like those people just aren't ready for gospel truths yet, but they'll get there. What I mean is that it is a "truth" that works for me right now and I truly and deeply believe it has impacted my life for the better. For example, I also think my mom's "truth" (which I won't divulge because it is not mine to share) has made her the best person she can be (RIGHT NOW), and for the record, that is a MUCH better person than I am or can ever see myself becoming. My testimony of the gospel is strong for ME. I know that what I believe is making me a better person and is helping me love others and learn to love myself in Christ-like ways and I think that helps make the world a better place. I don't and can't have a testimony of the gospel for others so I won't try. When I pray to God and ask if the Church is true, He answers to and for me. No one else. I'm happy to share my beliefs with others and share that my life has improved because of those beliefs, but I shudder to think of ever telling someone they are wrong for their own beliefs. Honestly, I haven't met God. He's enshrouded in A LOT of mystery (which is like totally cool btw) to me which leads me to believe I have such a small nugget of knowledge (if I can even call it knowledge), who am I to say He hasn't asked someone else to believe something else for very viable reasons? Personal beliefs are inescapable. You believe or you don't or you kind of do or you're not sure. Everyone believes something. Seriously. But it's super hard when we can't convince other people to understand our own Truths. We should learn to respect and understand that everyone will have their own Truths (or maybe it doesn't even have a capital T for you and that's okay too). It's so hard to understand that, but it's so important (at least my Truth says it is.) Until my own internal compass leads me elsewhere, I will continue to occupy this weird paradoxical space of believing more than one Truth can exist here on earth... and that my paradoxical understanding still operates under my “Truth” (afterall, the concept of multiple truths,I will also acknowledge, is a fabricated "truth" that there has to be one real Truth… ugh is anyone still with me here?) Anyway. I love you all. I really do. I don't care what you believe, and I mean that in the nice way. I love to learn about religion and people and humans and why we are the way we are and how we create such incredibly complex, diverse beliefs. Whatever you believe, I think you're right. But hey, I am too. #paradox all you need is love, (WHICH IS A POSSIBLY CONSTRUCTED HUMAN BELIEF PROBABLY NOT BELIEVED BY ALL, BUT IS MY OWN TRUTH CUZ IT FEELS RIGHT, BUT I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT MAY NOT BE TRUE FOR EVERYONE) Sam